Batman & Robin banter

Hi, it's your unfriendly neighbourhood Spider-man. I'm unfriendly when it comes to random people that meet me on the street and
go, "Ooh, you're my favourite Superhero."

or

"Hey, can I get an autograph?"

OR

"Please, help! They're raping me."

OKAY, I know, I KNOW. That was a little bit mean. I should have signed an autograph for that second guy there. Anyway though:
I present to you a short possibly recurring skit of:

Robin: "Batman, did you fart?"
Batman: "The test of a man's strength is not by how he treats his enemies, but by how he treats his friends."
Robin: "Yeah, yeah, did you fart though?"
Batman: "And people can smell your weaknesses?"
Robin: "Oh, it's on! Let's see who can compete better at this."
Batman: *looks at him* "You do not want to mess with me..."


Robin: "I put this guy in a coma after he made a pass at me. Showed him!"
Batman: "Robin, it seems you don't quite understand the rules of football."


Robin: *opens door and finds naked gigolo on bed* "Holy gracious!"
Batman: *from living room* "You shouldn't use that word over things so trivial, Robin."
Robin: "There is a Chinese male gigolo on my bed!"
Batman: *comes and sees person, and recognises him* "Hoe Lee..."
Robin: "Only you can say it then?"


Robin: "Batman, I must confess. I have a fetish for... light switches."
Batman: "Robin, whatever turns you on."


Robin: "I posted a signboard in school today. I told everyone to vote my friend Rick to be president of all superheroes, because he can generate power charges from his body."
Batman: "Electric?"
Robin: "Yes, for president."


Batman to Robin: "Robin, be careful who you save in India. Apparently not every woman there has a sniper dot on their forehead."

Just a post (Batman)

I’m sitting on the balcony of my ten million dollar mansion overlooking the city at night. Bottle of whiskey and alomo bitters open and empty in front of me on an expensive diamond plated table.

Anyway this is me updating my blog cause Spidey won’t stop bitching about how it's my turn. That dude needs a girlfriend.

Most of you know me as Batman, and thanks to Christopher Nolan some of you know me as Christian Bale, the Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne etc. And if none of those ring any bells, then think of me as the dude that made talking like you had a throat infection look cool.
Why I’m depressed and drinking as opposed to outside in tights fighting crime will be the topic of discussion tonight.
Batman is a boss in Gotham, the thought of my presence makes grown men cry. The sound of my voice over the phone has instantly made some women pregnant, and last year Bruce Wayne was nominated as manly male of the year alongside two grizzly bears and one African lion. Which is why when Supes brought up the idea of a sidekick I was very much against it, like who could seriously keep up with this much class? Until Barney Stinson educated me on the merits of a capable wing man.
And that’s the true version of how Robin the Boy Wonder was born.
It was awesome at first, fighting crime side by side, beating up on every villain with Russian heritage and a penchant for politics(Get the reference?)....

 Why is Batman so sad? Will he ever finish his Alomo Bitters? Will Patience Jonathan ever learn how to speak proper English?

All these and more shall be answered in next week's Misadventures of the Justice League. If any of you Martians, Kryptonians or Lagosians have any questions or suggestions for the blog, direct them either to @Snikoggs or @Zillaitor. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go change my costume.