Oyin as a yung'un

This is the story of when Oyin first met Snikoggs.

Once upon a time, Oyin roamed the streets of Lagos when she saw Victor for the first time (who is, I must add, her fiance in the real world). He stood on the other side of the road when their eyes suddenly met. Just as in fairy-tales, sparks began to fly.

(At this point, I must add that Victor was a welder working at the time)

He had on the attire; black gloves and sunglasses. Struck with love, Oyin crossed the road and said to him, "Those sunglasses look good on you."

Her heart suddenly sank when Victor reached for his walking cane and his guide dog came out of nowhere.

"Who is that?" He asked loudly.

Upon seeing her crush was a blind man, she became overcome with sadness. Then she saw a brilliant ad on the road that read: "Have you just met a blind man who you find attractive? Dr Snikoggs down the road will cure him!"

Obviously, as you would expect, Oyin's hopes were raised as this was the solution to all her problems. "Come, Victor, I'll help you!" she said, joyously.

Several minutes later, they reached the doorstep of Dr Snikoggs (who I must reveal to you readers, is the shameless author of this story).

They walked into my posh living room and found me wearing a silver robe, stoking my dog who rested on my lap. (My house smelt of royalty and awesomeness, even though I'm trying not to sound cocky. But bear with me!) I told the bear and the dog to leave and give us a minute.

"Why are you here? I suppose you want me to heal this nice man here," I spoke in a sensual tone.

"Yes," says Oyin, "But since I've just seen you are really attractive, I don't see that happening."

I said, "Neither does he."

We both broke out in laughter at my hilarious joke. Then, all of a sudden, Victor removed his sunglasses and we found that he wasn't blind. At all. IT WAS JUST A PLOY!

"You've been getting my girls all these years, using your charm, wit, good-looks (Trust me, he really did say that), but that ends now!" he bellowed, and took out a silenced gun.

Then she shot me and I died, then he and Oyin went on to live happily ever after.