Robin, who
liked taking risks, now has advertisement outlets in different parts of the
country. Of course, that means a lot of ad ventures for him. (Oops! That was
purely unintentional.)
Well, at this time of the year, the economy
was in depression but Robin couldn't quite figure out why it was sad. But it
needed to cheer itself up quick, and sit upright. Things have stopped going
smoothly. His clients now bump on something on their way to his office, and
they all turn back, not wanting to do business with him anymore. He was
definitely going to liquidate soon, and with the morbid fear he had for water,
he hoped he'd turn into Orijin, his new favorite brand of alcohol.
On this faithful day, Robin, who was an
atheist started believing in God. He saw a post on Facebook, it was proof of
the existence of the devil, which subsequently served as proof of the existence
of God. But then again, the day was a faithful day. He looked up as someone
entered his office without bumping into anything. Then the person walked up to
his desk and brought down Robin's chin. He introduced himself as Genghis.
"Hello, Mr Genghis. I'm Robin. What
Khan I do for you?"
"I expect you'd have a little courtesy."
"Jeez! Man, Kent you take a little
joke?"
"No jokes today, please." Said
Genghis. "Our elders once said, 'when the eyes are red, don't put your
Robb in.'
"Wow! That was so...."
"Anyway," Genghis continued,
"I'm here with a business proposal."
They sat in that area, talked about the
proposal at length. Then in order to get their breadth, they cross multiplied.
Although, that wasn't really their intention. They were only going to
experiment with each other's wife, but the women got pregnant.
And this was when the problem started.
Actually, Genghis, who had produced a latex
with polyethylene, had come to Robin with a marketing strategy for it. Now that
it had failed, he needed all evidences of its failure erased. Thus, he stole
Robin's copy of the contract and refused him any other payment. Robin was
outraged! He headed straight to the courts, but then realised he didn't play
tennis so he turned back. Then it occurred to him that if he wanted the matter
in real legal courts, he would need a lawsuit. So he picked up the phone and
called his lawyer's fashion designer. The first hearing occurred in Ikeja,
Lagos, Nigeria, although it baffled him that everybody in that area were once
deaf.
As the case proceeded, no one would believe
there was any contractual agreement between Robin and Genghis. He had nothing
to prove it. Then he remembered a back up was lying in a Bank's vault in
Switzerland. It could tell whatever lie there, but it had to come say the truth
here.
Genghis, who was quite visionary, had seen
Robin's next move. He requested for an Injuction which barred Robin from
leaving the country. Everyone was left in dismay with the court's judgement.
"Although you're the claimant," said the judge,
"everyone knows you'll always be Robin.
Therefore, you have been barred from the airports,
because you're a plaintiff."
Of course, the judge wasn't making any
allusion to the fact that he would always be robbing, and as a result, was a plain thief, he just didn't want
any plane stolen.
Robin decided he had no option left but to
break into Genghis' apartment. He'd hate to do this, really, because he was the
good guy here, but he had been left with no other choice. In order to avoid
being detected, he needed a change of costume, so he went to a sports shop and
asked for a Man United jersey. It's very possible he got Blind recently too. Or
he probably chose the club because he was also unable to go to Europe. That's
beyond the scope of the writer's knowledge.
The attendant came at this point and asked
if he had any number in mind. Ordinarily, he should have chosen Rooney, who at
the time, was United's captain, but he picked number 20 instead. That was an
awful thing to do. It was sure to Bruce Wayne's ego.
Anyway, the day came and he dressed up like
the Man United player he'd chosen, with a
mask that complimented the short. Anyone would have done that really.
The short was really cute. When he got to Genghis' apartment, access wasn't a
problem for him. Because that wasn't his bank. As he searched helplessly in the
drawers for the documents, a voice suddenly bellowed behind him:
"Hey fella!"
Robin
turned towards the voice but couldn't see it. He searched and searched and
searched, and then realised that oh, voice was an inanimate object. Then, he
concentrated a little bit further and saw that Genghis had been standing before
him, a revolver in his hand.
"What are you doing with the world
map?" Robin almost asked. But he refrained. He was on a damn robbery operation after all. Then
he panicked for a brief moment, wondering if he had been recognised with the
mask on.
"You don't just barge into my
apartment," said Genghis, "dressed like goddamn Van Persie, and try to cart away my belongings. Who the
hell do you think you are Robin?"
(The
question has three different interpretations, whichever you see is exactly what
Genghis meant. Cheers!)
lwkmd o!...... Man, I don't know what you've been smoking nor drinking, but I want 'em. You're too mussh.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I read this super-slow so I wouldn't miss any of the puns.
ReplyDeleteI believe, ladies and gentlemen, that I got them all - and the three questions too.
Shalom.
Well done 👏👏👏👏👏
ReplyDeleteReally funny, another level of comedy. Pretty sure a lotta peeps might not get it... The trick is in reading out loud... That way A King can easily take out all the Pawns(puns)
ReplyDeleteWow....lool...this really is something.... I love
ReplyDelete